Today...

Today - how do I put my feelings into words?
Words that others will understand....words that will help me understand.
Sadness, confusion, incomplete"ness," weight, weak, crying....
But, yet, even as I think about these words I realize there are others.

Thankful, recognition, appreciation, strength, thoughtful, smiling....

Is it possible to have these feelings at the same time?
Why do I feel torn between these two extremes?
What is it - why can't I just feel apathetic...somewhere in the middle?
Apathy - this is a feeling I do not understand...it is like feeling nothing.

Is it easier for me to feel nothing?  It is easier for me to just ignore my feelings?
This does not feel right.  I seek something - justice, righteousness...is there something more?
I am a rabbi.  I am a father.  I am a husband.  I am a friend.  I am a stranger.  I am so many things...

I am human first...nothing else take precedence.  I was born a human - everything else came afterwards.

I know it is not possible for me to hide away and ignore my confusion...ignore what I feel isn't right.
I know I need to act for what I believe is right...people depend on these actions.  
The leader in me knows it is time to act...it is time to lead by example and do something.

​God - guide me; show me; instruct me; LEAD me.....